Getting Married

“We just want to be married and bring glory to our Lord.” Could a pastor and a father be any more satisfied, relieved, and elated??? Probably not.This was my future daughter-in-law’s response to why she and my oldest son decided to push up their wedding date by eight months, foregoing the “big wedding” plans. There they both sat on the visitor’s couch in my office at the church, undergoing the obligatory pre-marital interview. Two adults now, committed members of the church. For a moment, I imagined them being themselves ten years prior, when they met back in high school, when my son introduced his new girlfriend to his family. Seems like so long ago…but here we are…life is short, as they say. I’m glad I’m smiling. As her mother told me recently, “God had a plan.” I agree.“I’m so proud of you both…happy, too,” I say. And it’s true. Very true. Let me share with you why I said that.I can’t speak for the social norms and practices of other countries, only of my own. Unfortunately, most engaged couples spend inordinate amounts of time focusing on getting married (which takes less than an hour) rather than how their Lord (if they even submit to Him) sees their prospects regarding actually being married (which is supposed to last a lifetime). It’s all about engagement rings, wedding dresses, venues, guest lists, flowers, hairdo’s, bridesmaids dresses, pictures, showers, etc…but hardly ever about the Lord. Oh, they may be getting married by a Christian pastor in a Christian church and maybe even have a Bible quote and a Cross typed on their mailed invites…but it’s mostly tradition at that point. Yet, He’s the one who invented marriage so that two believers can bring glory to Him. Marriage is meant to be a reflection of Christ and His Bride.The greatest wedding ceremony to ever take place will occur in Heaven after the rapture of the Church.

“Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready.” It was given to her to clothe herself in fine linen, bright and clean; for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints. Then he *said to me, “Write, ‘Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.’” And he *said to me, “These are true words of God.”

Do you see anything missing? Bridezilla, for starters! It’s sad when your country, at the writing of this blog, has a primetime television reality series titled, “Bridezillas”, that is still running strong after ten years! Weddings and their engagement proceedings have become a joke, hence the program, yet very few seem to be alarmed. In fact, most jump into the fray, insulting the Lord with their blatant disregard for Him. It’s a nightmare with various shades of scary, depending on the self-centeredness of the parties involved.Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body.Evidence of this ongoing nightmare occurs daily all over the country, with wedding details and plans and celebrations strewn all over every conceivable social network known to the Universe. In brief, and this seems disproportionately skewed towards women, but not exclusively, engagements and their ensuing “let’s celebrate my getting married” are carried out ad nauseam. Something tells me that “bridezilla” isn’t concerned with glorifying God as she’s gathering as much glory unto herself as she can. Others encourage her wildly on the unspoken agreement that she’ll do the same for them when it’s their time to be celebrated.Is there anything wrong with a big wedding? Not at all - we read about sizable weddings in the Bible, one in which our Lord famously turned water into wine (John 2:1-11 reveals between 120-180 gallons worth)! Jesus certainly was in attendance and even contributed to the celebration. But that’s not the point here, at all. The point is simple.There’s nothing wrong with making wedding plans, whether large or small. The question for all, especially those getting married, is what is being celebrated…better yet, who is? If the reason for all the unnecessary celebration is to attract attention to oneself, then the motivation is wrong. If being married is meant to glorify Christ, then why would getting married be any different?“Oh, and we want the Gospel presented as part of the service,” the two on the couch tell me. My soul warms even further. Their hearts are rightly postured in all of this. They see the blessing of the wedding as an opportunity to share the fact that Christ has brought them together to bring glory to Himself…to reflect His relationship with His own Bride, the Church. They see their personal celebration as a time to evangelize a captive audience. Awesome.The Bible talks a lot about being married, not getting married. Anyone can get married, but being married unto the glory of God is something entirely different. I suppose that’s also why the secular adage says, “The bigger the ring/wedding, the shorter the marriage.” In my experience, there’s some truth to this…but divorce is another topic for another day. I don’t want to end this on a sour note…not at all. This is a true celebration here…a godly one worth writing about…and it has nothing to do with that subject.Presumably, I shall be choking down my emotions while officiating the marriage of these two individuals…but not for the reasons that most will suspect. Indeed, I am gaining a beautiful, godly daughter-in-law, and watching my oldest son take the next step in his life. However, my greatest joy on that day will be in knowing that their intentions are righteous - that Christ will be front and center and His precious Gospel delivered.As my youngest son plays in his older brother’s bride on the piano, and as the crowd settles down and rises to its feet, readying themselves to witness the bride’s beaming father walk her down the isle, I’m guessing the chap behind the lectern will be humming a little melody to the following scripture:This is the day which the LORD has made;
Let us rejoice and be glad in it.I want to say “thank you” to my son and his bride-to-be…for reminding me that not all are lost in this world…and that despite the temptations to do so, they haven’t displaced their focus on Christ. It’s such a wonderful blessing, and surely will be on that magnificent day, to see two of God’s children meeting at that place where Christ alone can adorn them with His approval - His own heart.

Love in Christ,
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Ed Collins