The Sign Says, "Home Sweet Home," But...

"Atticus says you can choose your friends but you sho' can't choose your family, an' they're still kin to you no matter whether you acknowledge 'em or not, and it makes you look right silly when you don't."
Whether you agree with His choices or not, God chose your family. Even if you were conceived as an “oopsie”, you weren’t a mistake in God’s eyes. He chose you to be a part of your family. The implications are far reaching. The big question is, “Why?” Why choose to slam multiple divergent, often antagonistic, personalities together under a single roof? Isn’t God just asking for trouble? Well, technically, He’s not asking (He doesn’t answer to anyone but Himself), He’s promoting. Huh? Indeed, He is, my friends. But, why would He do such a thing?When you understand how God sanctifies His children, you begin to understand why He forms blood relative families the way He does. At face value, it’s easy to question His choices, given the constant friction in most families. And, as a side note, we ought never assume any family is “perfect” - there’s no such thing, except the family that God has assembled in His precious Son’s name.The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.We could very easily extend Adler’s statement to include the family structure as well and say, “The only normal families are the ones we don’t know very well.” It’s true. How can I say this with such confidence? Because I know what the Bible has to say dogmatically about the human flesh. It’s the very essence of self-everything. The flesh is self-centered, self-absorbed, self-serving, self-righteous…you get the point. The Word of God tells us as much. Two fleshes in even a sizable space are going to have problems eventually.The concept of coexisting in a shared space is fundamentally antagonistic to the desires of the human flesh. Take a bunch of fleshes, cram them into a box and then put a sign above the entryway that reads “Home Sweet Home” and you’ve got a good picture of the average household. Is God crazy??? Nope.Just to put things into the right perspective, Jesus was perfect, the only one, ever. He literally came to save the world, including those in His own household. And they rejected Him! It’s almost comical, but nonetheless, it’s true. “For not even His brothers were believing in Him” (John 7:5).Jesus said to them, “A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown and among his own relatives and in his own household.”Knowing that the perfect man, Jesus Christ, was mistreated ought to be encouraging for the rest of us. Did His Father know that Jesus would be attacked and even killed eventually? Indeed - He planned it! That is the key for all of us to understand. God has never arbitrarily assigned a human soul to the wrong family.In fact, He’s so intimately aware of His children that we might rightly conclude that our families, as dysfunctional as they might be at times, are the perfect ones for us. That may be a hard pill to swallow, but it’s no less true. Your crazy mom, your absentee dad, your disrespectful kids are precisely who God knew they’d be to you. I’ve never met a person that didn’t have something to complain about regarding members of their family. Never. I’ve seen a few posers pull off a good act for a while, but as soon as they loosened up a bit and dropped the facade, the floodgates opened. Honesty is good.The point is that families are what they are because they are derivatives of the flesh. While we may find much happiness and encouragement within our families, and God is pleased with that, we ought never be shocked to discover the stench of something awful. As I’ve taught many times from the pulpit, “Disappointment is nothing more than failed expectations.” We aren’t supposed to find our base happiness in our blood families. That’s a lie from the world. As adorable as babies are, they aren’t our saviors. And having more and more of them only guarantees one thing - more challenges in the home. Jesus stated that we ought to love Him so much that relatively speaking, we ought to “hate” the members of our families (focus on the word ‘relatively’ and don’t go off hating your family and blaming me - you’d be missing Jesus’ meaning entirely).If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple. Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.Often, our greatest cross to carry is given to us inside our own homes. This isn’t unlike the example we see with Jesus’ life. “He came to His own, and those who were His own did not receive Him” (John 1:11). Jesus died while bearing His Cross. What do you expect in your own life?The world’s going to tell you that something’s wrong with your family - that’s the hairline fracture. It’s then going to suggest boldly that you ought to throw in the towel and seek other alternatives - that’s the break. This is one of the reasons why there are so many broken families in this world. It’s easier to seduce a person away from the God-given blessings in their life if they first spurn them. Whether you like it or not, your blood family was given to you by God. You only have one. If you’re married, stay married, for this is the will of God.But from the beginning of creation, God MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE. FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH; so they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.If you’ve been divorced in the past, well, what’s done is done. Do not live in guilt; rather, take what the Spirit’s giving you right now and press on with it. As Jesus said to the adulterous woman, “And Jesus said, “I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more” (John 8:11).We’re going to hurt each other badly, especially in our homes. One of the most treacherous, debilitating mistakes we can make is failing to forgive one another.Whenever I officiate a wedding, I always present the three pillars: love, respect, and forgiveness. We must learn to forgive each other, lest we take the “alternative” route suggested by Satan, himself, and watch the God-ordained institution of marriage and family collapse like a house of cards.So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. 

Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. 

Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.

Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them. Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.Jem was onto something, I think, when he remembered his father’s words. ”Atticus says you can choose your friends but you sho' can't choose your family, an' they're still kin to you no matter whether you acknowledge 'em or not, and it makes you look right silly when you don't." Do you “look right silly”? Have you forsaken your own family because you expect more out of them? If God can forgive them, can’t you? You’ll be better off if you do…just sayin’.BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity.Love in Christ,Ed Collins