Sticks and Stones

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.”

I can’t remember the first time I heard this, but I’m confident it was after I had been verbally abused by another child. I imagine either my mom or an elementary school teacher handed this little quip down to me. I’ve since also handed it down to youngsters; but, honestly, I can’t remember the last time I did. In any case, to my understanding, it means that words alone cannot cause pain (well, that’s the theory anyway).

Au contraire, I say! Through experience alone I know better than the “Band-Aid” lie I was told as a child. I’d argue that words are far more hurtful than even a punch in the face to a person without Christ. Considering that many people base their happiness on the fragile, worldly lie called self-esteem (as opposed to Christ-esteem, where a person’s self worth is based on His merits), it’s easy to see how, while physical bruises may last a few days and heal, wounds inflicted by the tongue may linger for much, much longer (maybe even a lifetime).

Beyond personal experience is what the Bible has to say about the human tongue (figuratively speaking, of course).

My soul is among lions;
I must lie among those who breathe forth fire,
Even the sons of men, whose teeth are spears and arrows
And their tongue a sharp sword.
The psalmist describes the tongue of his enemies as a sharp sword, supporting my observations above regarding its unique ability to lacerate the souls of man. A physical strike to the chest may leave a mark, but it only goes so deep; whereas a soulish strike from a violent tongue leaves a mark deep down within a person, taking captive one’s psyche. The prior may knock the wind out of you, but the latter can prove suffocating.

Look at the ships also, though they are so great and are driven by strong winds, are still directed by a very small rudder wherever the inclination of the pilot desires.

So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. See how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire! And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell. For every species of beasts and birds, of reptiles and creatures of the sea, is tamed and has been tamed by the human race.

But no one can tame the tongue; it is a restless evil and full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the likeness of God; from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be this way.
One of the most prominent areas I’ve seen this awfulness played out is in the ministry - and not just any ministry, but the “Christian” ministry. Believe it or not, the most profoundly hurtful wounds I’ve witnessed in the past ten years (I’ve been in full-time ministry this long) have been from others within the so-called faith (I cannot presume all are brothers/sisters upon self-proclamation alone - the Bible disallows it). Ask me if I’m surprised and I’ll tell you that I’m not. I may even refer to Jesus, “But Jesus, on His part, was not entrusting Himself to them, for He knew all men, and because He did not need anyone to testify concerning man, for He Himself knew what was in man” (John 2:24-25). I know what kind of strife lies in the heart of man, especially in his flesh. When the human tongue becomes the expression of man’s evil intentions, it is venomous.

Case in point. Christians, theologians in particular, have a bad habit of giving names to doctrines that don’t actually exist in the Bible. The presumption is that a name provides a virtual handle on a concept that simply cannot be described in a word or two. I get it. Even God the Holy Spirit inspired doctrinal handles such as “salvation, sanctification, and faith,” for example. There’s no danger in such name-calling when it’s given to us by God. However, things get pretty messy when someone takes it upon themselves to create a new name, an extra-biblical one, to describe someone they disagree with (these names usually end in “ist”). And just so you know, derogatory name-calling isn’t a novel concept. “The disciples were first called Christians in Antioch" (Acts 11:26). What some folks don’t realize is that the word “Christian” had been used by Jesus’ opposition as a derisive title. Later on in the Book of Acts, we see this played out with King Agrippa, who used the term to mock Paul during his defense of Truth. “Agrippa replied to Paul, ‘In a short time you will persuade me to become a Christian’” (Acts 26:28).

Our enemies know the power of name-calling. In its unholiest machinations, name-calling becomes the hallmark of ignorance. In fact, I’d argue that one of the easiest ways to spot a Christian ignoramus is to pay attention to their vernacular. If they persist with extra-biblical terms and contend with others using dismissive name-calling, chances are they haven’t done their homework. If they have, it is often nothing more than a mere reading of some theologian’s commentary. When pressed, these same people defend their doctrines with the names of men who are supposedly more learned than their opposition. This, too, is a telltale sign of dishonest conviction. Name-calling is often the teeth of a cornered rat.

It’s far better to admit that you don’t understand everything there is to know in the Bible than to cast aspersions at others who disagree with you, calling them names as an attempt to discredit them. By faith, the earliest “Christians” held fast to their simple doctrines, despite the name-calling. They were derided by kings and laypeople alike; yet, they remained firm in one thing that guarantees victory (1 John 5:4) - their faith.

But resist [the devil], firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world. After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.
As a general rule, sophomoric (wise-morons) Christians, armed with just enough knowledge to be puffed up, tend to make huge piles of all things they do not yet understand and then set them ablaze, their vile tongue the fire-starter. In social circles, we call this kind of ignorance “discrimination.” The Bible simply calls it the fruit of the flesh.

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” I’m not entirely sure how I feel about this old proverb now. It is multifaceted. I’ve gone through several iterations of understanding it, even while writing this blog to you. In the spirit of keeping it simple, I think I’ll conclude this way…

While sticks, stones, and names may all bruise me, the Great Physician, Himself, promises to heal me.

He heals the brokenhearted
And binds up their wounds.
Don’t allow your enemies to use their name-calling like a billy club. Realize quickly, for the sake of your own deliverance, that such people are revealing themselves as ignoramuses who need your prayer more than your vitriol. “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:21). My humble suggestion is to stick with Biblical revelation alone, starting with the terminology you adopt into your vocabulary. Avoid labeling others with names not included in Holy Scripture, for there’s a good chance they have Satan’s fingerprints on them. Stick with the unadulterated opinion of God rather than man’s and all will be well with you.

For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, WHO COMMITTED NO SIN, NOR WAS ANY DECEIT FOUND IN HIS MOUTH; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed.
Love in Christ,

Ed Collins