“What’s going on with her these days?”
“Well, it’s just been this rollercoaster ride lately with her. Last year she was struggling with self-esteem, this year she doesn’t even know if she likes her husband anymore, and this past week she said she thinks her coworkers are conspiring against her. She’s just miserable all the time.”
“How’s her faith? Has she been going to church? And who’s she been hanging around with?”
“Not sure about her faith – only God knows for sure – but some days she seems over the moon in love with life itself and the next day she’s wondering if she even believes in God! I think she’s been going to church, but she’s made a few sideways comments about her fellow congregants that make me think she’s not so fond of them, either…at least not on that particular day, anyway.”
“Geesh! Let’s pray for her…”
Have you ever been in a situation like this? Maybe you’re Sally or maybe you’re her friends. Either way, it’s unsettling to say the least, especially when you know Sally to be a member of the Body of Christ.
What shall I do with you, O Ephraim? What shall I do with you, O Judah? Your love is like a morning cloud, like the dew that goes early away.
-Hosea 6:4
I’ve learned over the years that people have a peculiar, rather destructive habit of defining their entire lives by their current emotional state. Sounds bizarre, but it’s not at all uncommon. They seem to get so caught up in the moment (whether high or low) that their emotions become the defining factor in their life (as if the 30, 40, 50+ years of living up until that point are suddenly irrelevant).
When your emotions define your life, you have no lasting peace.
This unfortunate way of life is all consuming for some; but, given what the Word of God has to say, it’s certainly not something God wants for His children.
For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.
-1 Corinthians 14:33a
Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times in every way. The Lord be with you all.
-2 Thessalonians 3:16
Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do his will, working in us that which is pleasing in his sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen.
-Hebrews 13:20-21
A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back.
-Proverbs 29:11
Rather than just saying, “Well, Sally, stop being that way because God doesn’t like it when you are,” is there something worth thinking about, a strategy, if you will? I think so. I can share what I’ve seen work with myself and others in the past. The key is disciplining yourself in those moments to step back and remember the big picture. Maybe even more important is to recognize how small emotional spikes are relative to the grand scheme of things.
In my experience, this is easier said than done. It takes a real desire and a commitment to stability. Let me say that again in a different way to drive this point home. You must want stability in your life (oddly, there are many people who don’t, even though they say they crave it). I can’t help with the desire part – that’s on you. What I’m trying to help with here is the strategy, once you’ve decided you’ve had enough of the emotional crises.
Not everything is a crisis. Remember that as you break free from the throes of emotionalism. Take a step back, take a deep breath, count to ten or one hundred (whatever it takes), and then respond rationally.
All I can tell you is that this strategy takes practice. If you’re an emotional person to start with, then it’ll take a lot. Trust me when I say, though, it works. You must have faith that God doesn’t want chaotic living for you. Go to Him in prayer frequently. Ask Him for big picture perspective. He promises to give it to you!
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.
-James 1:5-8
Your emotions aren’t your life. Jesus Christ died on His Cross to deliver you from the consequences of fleshly living. Jesus has earned your right to shed your emotionalism. Do Him the honor of living a life of peace.
Love in Christ,
Ed Collins
