Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.” The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith!”
-Luke 17:3-5
The apostles, like us many times, felt inadequate when faced with God’s standards. What are we to do when a person persists in their sin? Is it always easy to give someone the truth? I will say from experience, it is most definitely not easy. In fact, the more arrogant a person is, the more likely they are to bite the hand that feeds them.
And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil. For everyone who does wicked things hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his works should be exposed.
-John 3:19-20
The human flesh hates the truth. Just being in close proximity to it incites sinful man to anger. This is why fleshly people despise being around people who speak righteously. Darkness hates the light. To call someone out of darkness implies you are the bearer of light; therefore, expect to be scorned.
A good friend is willing to venture into darkness to give someone the truth, even when it’s scary and they know there’s a good possibility they will be bitten, battered, or bruised. Love drives a true friend to press on into darkness. True love is sacrificial.
For the joy that was set before him [Jesus] endured the cross, despising the shame.
-Hebrews 12:2
Love drove Jesus to the Cross. Love must motivate us similarly in our daily walks, for we are to live for others even when they don’t realize that we are. We must exercise patience and when we need encouragement we need to pray for more faith (e.g., more courage).
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.
-1 Corinthians 13:4-8
It’s the end goal that matters. It’s the deliverance of a friend in need when they may not even realize it yet. As disciples of Jesus, we are to, “take up [our] cross daily and follow [Him]” (Luke 9:23). This “cross” implies pain. It’s rarely comfortable stepping into someone else’s darkness, even with the best of intentions. The more we represent the truth the less welcomed we may find ourselves.
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice.
-Proverbs 12:15
By insolence comes nothing but strife, but with those who take advice is wisdom.
-Proverbs 13:10
A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish man despises his mother. Folly is a joy to him who lacks sense, but a man of understanding walks straight ahead. Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.
-Proverbs 15:20-22
When faced with the opportunity to help a friend in need, we must ask ourselves- what choice do we have in the matter? Do we compromise our own integrity by joining in the darkness simply to keep the peace? May it never be! Can you imagine where we’d be right now if that was Jesus’ heart? If we truly love our friends, there is no choice but to abide in the truth.
Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.
-Proverbs 27:6
Have you ever seen the forging of a sword? It’s violent. It involves intense heat and the pounding of it with large hammers. Whack, whack, whack! Over and over the stock metal is beaten into shape. And once it’s formed it is then pressed into a grinder for sharpening. Still, this process is less violent than the one which takes place in the soul of a person being sanctified by the Word of Truth! To give a person truth is to be the instrument of God’s choice in that moment as He uses you to hammer down on your friend. Sparks will surely fly, threatening to start small fires in your periphery. But, you see the work must be done.
Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.
-Proverbs 27:17
We must also remember that, while we may be God’s chosen instrument, we are not the Deliverer. We are merely the messenger, the bearer of Truth. We may walk away with a few bruises but our love for others says it’s worth the cost of doing God’s business.
Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.
-Romans 13:8
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
-Proverbs 17:17
We are not born good friends. In fact, we are born just the opposite – self-absorbed, self-centered, selfish individuals who fight tooth and nail to remain in darkness. The only time we are inclined to help others is when there’s something to be gained for self. We can’t even help ourselves, never mind attempt to help others in darkness.
We must be enlightened before we have light to share. This takes time.
So, let us not be discouraged by our lack of faith at these critical points in time when we recognize our friends need us. Sometimes the best thing to do is say nothing. However, the older we get the more likely we are to share our wisdom.
Gray hair is a crown of glory; it is gained in a righteous life. Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.
-Proverbs 16:31-32
Wisdom is reserved for those who have lived a righteous life. The longer we live righteously, the more wisdom God imparts to us. This is why we ought to seek the counsel of those with more wisdom than ourselves. If we’ve been blessed with godly parents, then we ought to double down on seeking their good counsel. This may mean we spend a good portion of our lives with our mouths shut and our ears open. The heavier burden is on the one with the wisdom – remember that. Instead of being spiteful we ought to be grateful for those God has strategically placed in our lives for our own good.
The glory of young men is their strength, but the splendor of old men is their gray hair.
-Proverbs 20:29
When humility meets with humility at wisdom, something truly beautiful blooms.
Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken.
-Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
I hope you’ve found this blog encouraging, my friend. Whether you’re the friend giving or receiving the truth, embrace the fact that God has ordained truth to set us all free. Let us pray for more faith so we may be better for one another, for we are all a part of God’s family. Let us extinguish dysfunction by checking our arrogance and self-absorption at the door. And may we all, when moved by the Spirit, press on in love.
Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
-1 Thessalonians 5:11
Love in Christ,
Ed Collins
