I'm Proud of You

A false balance is an abomination to the LORD,
But a just weight is His delight.
When pride comes, then comes dishonor,
But with the humble is wisdom.
The integrity of the upright will guide them,
But the crookedness of the treacherous will destroy them.
A “false balance” is a bent scale of values (v1). Whenever I hear the words, “I’m proud of you!”, I contemplate the context of the situation. I’ve heard it a lot beside fields of sport as well as in academic arenas. If it’s me saying those words to one of my two sons or my daughter-in-law, I really think about not just my own heart’s desire in the moment, but also how they might receive such an expression. I know how much those words can mean to children, so I long to say them. However, I won’t say them if I discern they might actually be a cause for stumbling…as v3 says, “the crookedness of the treacherous will destroy them”. What father wants to contribute to the destruction of his own kids??? Not this one. May integrity be my guide.Not surprisingly, the world touts pride as the hallmark of achievement…as if to say, “Strive until you can look yourself in the mirror and say, ‘I’m proud of myself’…or at least until someone else says they’re proud of you.” This is the acceptable dynamic in our culture. In a sense, without pride, some lack a sense of self-worth. Sadly, self-pride is as brittle as glass because it isn’t forged in Christ.In the most fundamental of terms, the only boasting that brings glory to God is that which attributes its cause to Him.On behalf of such a man I will boast [Paul speaking about who/what he was by the grace of God]; but on my own behalf I will not boast, except in regard to my weaknesses. For if I do wish to boast I will not be foolish, for I will be speaking the truth; but I refrain from this, so that no one will credit me with more than he sees in me or hears from me.

Because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me — to keep me from exalting myself! Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me.

And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.So, the question is: where does this leave expressions like, “I’m so proud of you!”? It’s an interesting thing to ponder, indeed, because so many of us have adopted the expression as acceptable without considering our scale of values. When we say these words, are we saying, “You are great” only, or are we saying, “You are great as a result of God’s grace”? Are we encouraging our children to adopt a viewpoint of themselves such that their own self-esteem is based on what we, and others, think of them? Or are we teaching them our Lord’s heart - that pride in self is an abomination?Some of you might be taking offense, and that’s a good thing because the Spirit’s just trying to make your way straight. My job is often simply to present the ‘scene’ and let you, “work out your salvation with fear and trembling” (Philippians 2:12) - with the Spirit’s guidance, of course. “The fear of the LORD is to hate evil; pride and arrogance and the evil way and the perverted mouth, I [Wisdom] hate” (Proverbs 8:13).The term “pride” is a slippery slope. On one hand, it seems benign, a mere expression of love from parent to child, for example. On the other hand, it’s literally the source of every fall recorded in scripture! Besides this evidence, the Bible plainly states that God hates it!Scripture tells us that pride is an abomination to God. That’s a strong statement. If pride were a BBQ, and boasting the aroma, we’d have to ensure that we aren’t cooking self-assertion to perfection and boasting about how good it smells.The only place where any form of pride (e.g.: boasting) is allowed in scripture is when God’s grace is evident in an otherwise wretched person. “But by the grace of God I am what I am” (1 Corinthians 15:10). We are encouraged to boast about God’s grace when we see its result in someone else. The principle is that we aren’t to assert man’s self as the cause for boasting, rather God’s good work in them. How many I’m-proud-of-yous expressed bring glory to God?Great is my confidence in you; great is my boasting on your behalf. I am filled with comfort; I am overflowing with joy in all our affliction.Therefore openly before the churches, show them the proof of your love and of our reason for boasting about you.For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But each one must examine his own work, and then he will have reason for boasting in regard to himself alone, and not in regard to another.My greatest fear regarding this topic is that the subtleties surrounding pride go unnoticed in our souls…like spiritual cancer…and that the seemingly “kindhearted, encouraging” words, “I’m proud of you”, deceptively set a course that leads away from grace. As the Bible states, “For the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart” (Matthew 12:34). We must “examine [our] own work” (Galatians 6:4), lest we contribute to the delinquency of our own children, even!But HE WHO BOASTS IS TO BOAST IN THE LORD. For it is not he who commends himself that is approved, but he whom the Lord commends.
Love in Christ,

Ed Collins