Have you ever heard someone say, “Oh, yes, we are good friends,” only to find out later that the so-called friend disagrees with this person’s proclamation? It’s an awkward situation, isn’t it? You don’t know whether or not to feel sorry for the first person or bothered by their delusion. Shortly afterwards, you might be stricken with the decision to inform one or both parties, or just decide to let it work itself out on its own. In any case, friendship implies mutual agreement; at least that’s the limited scope of it that I’m focusing on in this blog.

True friendship implies both parties give of themselves to the other, and each accepts the other’s gift. If one party rejects the proposition, the relationship cannot really be called a friendship. Friendliness isn’t the same thing as friendship. The prior is polite, the later is an intimate investment in another person.

Human beings may or may not be friends with the Lord God. God has standards for those He chooses to be friendly with. No matter how often or vehemently a person proclaims they are friends with God, if God disagrees, the friendship doesn’t exist. The Bible teaches us what it takes to be a friend of God. I’ll give you a little hint; it’s not what many so-called Christians suppose it is.

Good and upright is the LORD;
therefore he instructs sinners in the way.
He leads the humble in what is right,
and teaches the humble his way.


All the paths of the LORD are steadfast love and faithfulness,
for those who keep his covenant and his testimonies.
For your name’s sake, O LORD,
pardon my guilt, for it is great.

Who is the man who fears the LORD?
Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose.
His soul shall abide in well-being,
and his offspring shall inherit the land.

The friendship of the LORD is for those who fear him,
and he makes known to them his covenant.
— Psalm 25:8-14

The key to friendship with God is in v14a, “The friendship of the LORD is for those who fear him.” The Hebrew word translated “friendship” here means “confide, a couch or counsel (of familiar friends), secret or intimate counsel, intimacy” [Strong’s]. The New American Standard Bible translates this phrase as, “The secret of the Lord is for those who fear Him,” and the Berean Study Bible translates it as, “The Lord confides in those who fear Him.” In other words, by sovereign choice, God discloses Himself to others. This type of intimacy is His choice, not man’s.

Friendship with God is not a foregone conclusion once a human being decides they want it. God decides whom He befriends. He extends His invitation of friendship to those who fear Him.

Jesus, functioning on behalf of God our Father in Heaven, related friendship with Him to obedience, which is a manifestation of the fear of the Lord.

You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.
— John 15:14-15

What about people in this world who proclaim they are friends with God and believers in Christ, but do not fear Him? Where are we most likely to find such people? In the churches! Peter wrote about this in great detail to warn true friends of God (believers) about posers. “But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you [from within the church], who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction” (2 Peter 2:1). Satan is deceitful enough to send wolves disguised as sheep into the fold because that is where he can do the most damage - from within. Jesus called such people hypocrites and described how He will cast them away from Himself on judgment day.

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’”
— Matthew 7:21-23

Friendship with the Lord is tantamount to being saved. What begins with saving faith in Christ develops and matures over time into a relationship beyond compare. As wonderful and desirable as it sounds, the Lord God doesn’t invite everyone to it, precluding some on the basis of their lack of fear of Him. Jesus said, “No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draws him. And I will raise him up on the last day” (John 6:44).

God’s will is to disclose Himself to man; however, in order for man to receive such a gift, the gift of His friendship, the creature must possess genuine fear of his Creator. This is just God’s way of saying that before we become true friends of His, we must first accept who He is, namely, the sovereign, holy God of the Universe. Think about it, for perspective’s sake, are we really any different in our own expectations preceding friendship? Don’t we fully expect the other person to accept who we are as the basis of forming an honest relationship? Finally, let’s be honest here...who’s more gracious?...the perfect One who’s willing to befriend a wretched person, or the wretched one who’s willing to befriend the perfect One?

Love in Christ,

Ed Collins