Love.

One might argue it’s the most misunderstood word in human language. I tend to agree. To avoid any confusion, let’s go directly to Holy Scripture to find a working definition for love.

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends.
-1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

That’s a pretty good start, isn’t it? I think so. But will a first-time reader of the above passage be magically transformed by it? All I can say is that I’m sanctified a little bit more every time I read it (the Holy Spirit has pointed out new aspects of its depth and meaning over time). I think we get a bit closer to a working definition if we read the Apostle John’s words.

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because…

God is love.

In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him.
-1 John 4:7-9

Love is intrinsic to God. It is part of His essence. It’s much more than just a verbal expression. It’s more than just a point-in-time emotion as a reaction to something someone says or does. It is who He is. This is a difficult thing to learn. In fact, to the natural man it is completely foreign, for he is born a subjective lover (he loves in response to external stimuli). God, on the other hand, loves because of who He is (regardless of external stimuli). Because His love is dependent only upon His perfect character, His love never changes. It is pure, so much so that, as John wrote, we can say “God is love” (v8).

This type of love (godly love) expresses itself in ways that are alien to our natural thinking. For example:

For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
-Romans 5:7-8

The Bible teaches us that godly love is unattainable through human will. It must be given to him. He must be drawn to the gift by others who express godly love (beginning with God). In this sense, godly love frames its own economy among His children, God being the source of currency.

No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us. By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God.

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.
-1 John 4:12-16

According to Holy Scripture, if we ever wish to experience godly love, God must abide in us (something He chooses to do – we can’t force Him – all we can do is submit to Him, first at salvation and then through obedience as His children). This is an entirely different expectation than what the world proposes regarding “finding love”. The world has everything upside down and sideways, supposing the pinnacle of love is found through human relationships. Since people aren’t pure, like God, their love will always fail. If that’s the high watermark for love, it can only lead to disappointment, ultimately. Love then becomes defiled and people become bitter (Ever met someone who’s been married and divorced several times? Until they’re born again in Christ, they remain disenchanted with love. What’s more depressing than to give up on love in this life?).

The truth is that we humans need to be taught what godly love is. While the kingdom of darkness stakes a claim to love, anything it can offer a person is a poor estimation of the real thing. Look around, what do you see? How many substitutes for love are there in this world? Too many to count. The more of them a person consumes, the more confused they are about love.

You are blessed if you are in Christ. You don’t need the world’s offerings; you’ve got everything you need through your relationship with Him.

The Word of God is like a compass in your quest to find true love. It’s never where your natural mind thinks it is. You’ll never be fulfilled in this lifetime if there’s a hole in your heart that’s still empty. Only God can fill what He has designed for Himself. This you already know if you’re a believer; but even then, you, too, need to keep seeking so you will find even greater blessing.

So how do we clear the confusion about love in this world? We go to the Bible.

So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. By this is love perfected with us, so that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world.

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.

We love because he first loved us.

If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.
– 1 John 4:16-21

“We love because He first loved us” (v19). This world is filled with people who live in fear that they’ll never find true love. “There is no fear in love, but perfect love [godly love] casts out fear” (v18). One of the great blessings of godly love is that it transcends all insecurities.

For believers, the search for love is over. God is with you. There’s nothing to fear, my friend. Let go and fall back into His loving arms. Submit to Him this very day and enjoy His presence.

Love implies surrender – maybe that’s the biggest lesson here. Whatever it is, though, it’s something we must learn from the wellspring of love, namely God.

Love in Christ,

Ed Collins